Kids Take The Fun Out Of Halloween

 I looked over the inventory of Halloween costumes at the store and was temporarily stupefied. Then I examined the price tags and was momentarily petrified.

When I was growing up, there were basically two choices of Halloween costumes: you bought a Collegeville costume consisting of a chintzy plastic mask and suit featuring a cartoon character or a witch, or you made your own.

In my house, it usually came down to the latter, and the latter meant making something as easy as possible. I’m talking a white sheet with eyeholes cut out.

I have a photo of myself and my brother dressed up for Halloween one year. My long hair is in ponytails; I’ve painted freckles on my face; and I’m wearing a baby doll dress. I think I was supposed to be Pippi Longstocking.

My brother has tied a piece of burlap over his head and God only knows what he’d supposed to be.

Hey, but we were using our imaginations, being creative.

When my son was born, I wasn’t about to resort to a store-bought costume. Weeks before Halloween, I’d begin making the cutest, most creative costume I could come up with, keeping in mind my limited crafting and sewing skills.

That first year I kept it simple since my son was only 10 weeks old: a pumpkin.

I’d just come off maternity leave and brought my baby with me to a staff meeting where most of my co-workers were seeing him for the first time, this adorable cherub-cheeked infant dressed as a fat, orange pumpkin. Unfortunately, my son was having some stomach discomfort that day and, just as my boss began to speak, he let loose, forever becoming known as the little pumpkin with gas.

I thought my idea to make him a new blue M&M the following year was a stroke of genius. I found a royal blue, long-sleeved jumper. I then enlarged an M&M package on the copy machine and used it to cut out a white felt M&M logo to attach to the front. I put a royal blue baseball cap on him with the same logo. I then stuffed the inside of the jumper with foam to ensure he’d be nice and round.

It was adorable. Unfortunately, having just learned to walk, my son didn’t quite have his balance yet. And all that foam didn’t help. He looked like a Weeble, only this one did fall down, about every two steps. I think we trick-or-treated to three houses before he tired out.

My coup de grace, though, had to have been the turtle. That took a lot of wire hangers and every piece of green felt Michaels craft store had, but it was worth all the envious looks from the other mothers at the Center Place Halloween Horribles parade that year. My son the turtle even made the cover of the Hillsborough County recycling newsletter. What a compliment.

The only problem was the size of his turtle shell. In his enthusiasm to get to the next treat station at the Halloween Horribles parable, he would inadvertently knock all the other kids off the path.

Those days were over way too soon. I watched in dismay this year as parents proudly paraded their toddlers in whimsical costumes that I could have created if my son had just given me a few more years to experiment with him.

But, apparently, there comes a day when mom-made costumes are deemed uncool and anything that even hints of cute is unworthy.

So goodbye to 10-cent sheets of felt and hello to $39.99

Freddy Krueger masks.

D’Ann White is the former editor of The Brandon News.